Mr. Bennet had already visited Mr. Bingley. But toying with his wife was way too much fun to let her know right away.
While Lizzie was trimming a hat one afternoon, Mr. Bennet casually said, I hope Mr. Bingley will like it.
How would we know? said Mrs. Bennet, Since you won't visit him!
Maybe Mrs. Long will introduce him? offered Lizzie.
Pssshhh. She's just trying to get him for her two nieces. She is selfish, hypocritical and I have no opinion of her.
A silence fell on the group. Kitty began to cough.
STOP COUGHING KITTY!! Have some compassion for my nerves, said Mrs. Bennet.
It's not like I enjoy coughing, said Kitty.
When is the next ball? interrupted Mr. Bennet.
Two weeks tomorrow, answered Lizzie.
NOOOOO! said Mrs. Bennet, Then Mrs. Long can't introduce us because she will be out of town until the day before and she won't have time to meet him herself and so she can't introduce us and none of you will get married and we will have to live in the streets and beg for food and life will be OVER.
Why don't you introduce Mr. Bingley to her? Mr. Bennet suggested.
Mrs. Bennet turned very slowly toward her husband with clenched teeth. How could I do that, Mr. Bennet? she said quite slowly, When SOMEONE won't visit him, SOMEONE won't introduce us, and SOMEONE has made it utterly impossible me to MEET HIM MYSELF?!?
I suppose you're right, said Mr. Bennet, Knowing someone for two weeks is hardly enough time to feel comfortable introducing them to someone else. What do you think, Mary?
Mary looked a bit like a goldfish, mouth open and dumbstruck, in that moment.
While Mary is adjusting her ideas, let's talk about Bingley, continued Mr. Bennet.
I'm sick of Mr. Bingley.
Really?! exclaimed Mr. Bennet, I wish you'd said that before I visited him. Well, oh well, we can't escape knowing him now...
All hell broke loose in the Bennet household. Mrs. Bennet was all, Yeah, I totally knew you'd visited him, Mary pretended not to care, Kitty was like OMG, Jane and Lizzie wanted to know if he was going to the ball, and Lydia was like, So is he HOTTTTT???
Mr. Bennet said: Kitty, you may now cough as much as you like.
To be continued next week! Click "Recommend" on the right to receive updates when a new post is put up.
Caitlin Lushington is the Co-Artistic Director of the Enso Theatre Ensemble, a teacher, director, and actress. Sometimes she works too hard, sometimes she forgets things, and she strives to put the car keys back in the same place every time. She drinks tea every morning from her TARDIS mug and "Mr. Tea" diffuser. She loves the morning and wishes she had a photographic memory, so she could remember the names of every person she meets.
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