*Sigh* Let’s get this over with.
The only reason I’m doing this is because we need someone sensible and impartial to talk this over with you, so of course it falls to me, Mary. With Elizabeth occupied with Darcy, Jane starstruck by Bingley, and god knows what Kitty and Lydia are up to, I had to step in.
Important gossip that I-know-but-don’t-care-about: Darcy proposed and was refused by Lizzie, because he was a jerk - or so she thought. Whereas in reality, he was just trying to be a good friend and look out for the people he cared about blah blah blah. So now Lizzie is falling in love with this man that she barely knows (I get it, she hasn’t realized it yet, but come on, it’s obvious).
Now that we’re all caught up, Lizzie (it’s just all about her isn’t it?) was in a sour mood so our Aunt and Uncle (the Gardiners) took her for a road trip. In their high spirits they decided to pay a visit to Pemberley (You know, the place where Lizzie’s non-existant ex lives? Great plan, guys).
Luckily Mr. Darcy seemed to be out for the moment, so Liz was free to drool over statues, paintings and busts of him. All the while the-best-wingman-ever AKA the housekeeper is talking Darcy waay up. All about how kind-hearted he is and how handsome--of course Liz agrees (if you’re in to that whole brooding man-who-quietly-nurses-injured-deer-back-to-life-in-his-spare-time kind of guy). And to top it off, Darcy's a sweet older brother. How much cuter can you get?
Really if Darcy wanted to win Elizabeth over, he should have just invited her for a visit of his estates and let his housekeeper talk to her. That’s how any sensible man would go about it.
After they’re done inspecting all of the paintings inside they go to see the gardens--I mean why not? You’re with the GARDINers after all (sorry not sorry). They’ve been told Mr. Darcy is out but when they go to see the grounds, suddenly he rounds a corner and there is an instant look and blush shared between Darcy and Liz (Ew I sound like Kitty). Annnd that’s when it gets a bit awkward. I mean, suddenly seeing the person who you proposed to and was venomously refused by is not the best surprise for either party. Especially since they’re both in love with each other.
God, it’s such a headache to think about, why do people fall in love anyway? Such a waste of time.
Anyway, after some of the most painfully awkward moments of their lives, Darcy makes his hasty exit. Honestly, she ran the risk of seeing him when she decided to GO TO HIS HOUSE, think things through Lizzie-COME ON!
They continue to look at the grounds but really Liz just wants to go home, it’s been a weird day. Mr. Gardiner, however, is preoccupied by fish (??!!) and they make slow progress back to the carriage. Suddenly, Mr. Darcy appears again and they make the awkward introductions that they missed the last time--Aunt and Uncle, meet The Man I Rejected But Now Realize How Totally Awesome His House Is. Darcy proceeds to walk them back to the house and is surprisingly civil, going out of his way to invite Mr. Gardiner fishing.
Lizzie is lost in thoughts of ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ (Barf) and doesn’t contribute to the conversation much. They end up walking next to each other and she explains that she had no idea he would be here today (wow everything about this is painfully awkward). The conversation turns to him, and he asks if he can introduce her to Miss Georgiana Darcy, I mean how can you refuse? While they had been talking, they made it to the carriage and have to wait AGAIN (in yet another awkward silence) for Mr. and Ms. Gardiner to catch up.
Once they're in the carriage, Mrs. Gardiner grills Lizzie about why she thought Mr. Darcy was disagreeable in the slightest, seeing as he has shown perfect composure and politeness. I don’t think Lizzie admitted anything, just sat quietly and let them decide their own minds about him.
Well then, there you have it. It’s sickening how much Lizzie’s life resembles a romance novel, isn’t it? I believe that’s all the awkwardness I can handle for today.
Have fun, be sensible, goodbye.
CHAPTERS 44, 45, 46
Well I’m back, by popular demand. Not really, but I can pretend can’t I? Kitty is sulking, Lidia is unfortunately flirting, Lizzie is *too* busy being the main character, and Jane is staring dreamily at our ginger cat, so it’s up to me to update you. I was also informed I needed to “Jazz it up” (Kitty’s words, not mine) so here it goes.
We last left off with Lizzie having one of the most awkward days imaginable and now I’m here for round 2. Let’s see if we can beat it, Shall we?
In our right corner we have our five time champion Lizzie Bennet, what with (1) refusing a man, then (2) showing up unannounced at his house to drool at statues of him, then (3) SURPRISE seeing him at his own house and (4) being caught mid drool, and then (5) the multiple stiff silences exchanged between the two.
Aaand in our left corner we have the original tall - dark - and - handsome himself misssttteerr Darcy! Those brooding looks gave away no feeling before he proposed to the woman of his dreams--while also insulting her family and admitting to keeping her sister from happiness--and guess what? got rejected! His heart still longs for her but will she ever love him back?? Here we go.
(Is this ‘Jazzy’ enough for you?)
Alright, so Darcy has asked to introduce Elizabeth to his younger sister Georgiana. Lizzy said yes and that they should come the day after she gets back from Pemberley--BUT they arrive sooner than intended (AWK point = 1 Darcy). Lizzy comes to like Georgiana--even though she’s pretty shy. Soon Bingley joins them and she also determines that he is still at least a tiny bit in love with Jane (Very good, very good). And I mean at this point it’s pretty obvious that Darcy is in love with Elizabeth, the Gardiners see it right away and when Darcy invited her to dine with them the following night they are *quite* supportive. The next day Lizzie and Ms. Gardiner go to visit Georgiana and run into Bingley's sisters (AWK point = 1 Lizzie). Who, might I add, are very insensitive to common decencies, they tried to talk about Wickham in front of Georgiana--You know the guy shE ALMOST RAN AWAY AND ELOPED WITH.
Whoa. Sorry, that just seems super rude, even if you only wanted to take a jab at Elizabeth. And she continues to try throughout the night! Miss Bingley brings up later to Darcy how he used to not favor her looks but boy does she get shot down. With a cold look and a quick comment of she is ‘one of *the* most handsome women I know’ pretty much silenced her after that. (Hehe, take that!) (~Calm down Mary~) (Why can’t I get enough of this stuff?)
OK, so with the Bingley lady’s pity party over, Lizzie heads back to the Inn but life can’t be normal, can it? Let me set this up as a joke: Lizzie walks into an Inn and finds two letters one detailing her sister eloping with a man she once fancied (AWK point = 1 Lizzie) and also knows to be a disgusting human being and one saying there has been no words since they ran away. Hilarious. Being the sensible girl she is, she goes to get our aunt and uncle’s help only to run into the man of the hour Darcy. She tells him everything (Because they’re close now, right?) and in the classic Darcy/Lizzie response they both blame themselves for other people’s misfortunes (I ship it). Lizzie packs her things, apologizing profusely for ruining her dinner date with Miss Darcy (I mean Georgiana, I’m not that sassy).
So update: Kitty is sulking, Lidia is god knows where, Lizzie is still *too* busy being the main character, and Jane is...well--nevermind. It’s still up to me but I really need a break. I can’t deal with all these other people’s problems! It’s ridiculous! My nerves are shot!
O.h. g.o.d. I sound like my mother.
This week's chapters were written by our very own Katie McFarland, who will be playing Mary Bennet in our upcoming production.
NEXT WEEK: The search for Lydia & Wickham continues as public opinion turns against Wicked Wickham.
Caitlin Lushington is the Co-Artistic Director of the Enso Theatre Ensemble, a teacher, director, and actress. Sometimes she works too hard, sometimes she forgets things, and she strives to put the car keys back in the same place every time. She drinks tea every morning from her TARDIS mug and "Mr. Tea" diffuser. She loves the morning and wishes she had a photographic memory, so she could remember the names of every person she meets.
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