Chapter 5: The Post-Game Report

(Sorry about the tea stain, but it was from my Jane Austen mug so it seemed alright to keep this paper and not start a new one. :))

​Alright so now we meet the Lucas family. Sir William Lucas is the head of the household. He was in trade, then he became mayor of Meryton, and then he was knighted. So now he's fairly wealthy and doesn't have to work. His wife, Lady Lucas, is nice, and more importantly has a lots of kids.

Now forget all that because you won't need that information for the rest of the book.

All you need to know is the Lucases eldest daughter is 27, her name is Charlotte, and she's BFFs with Elizabeth.

(Historical Interlude: The reason Charlotte's age is important is that she is unmarried. Being a woman, 27 and unmarried during this time was...problematic, to say the least. We'll come back to this later.)

REPORTER'S VOICE: The Semi-Finals of Community Dances is over, and only the Most Embarrassing Mothers are left. As they straighten their bonnets and tighten their corsets, its clear only one thing is on their minds: Mr. Bingley. As the Singles Superbowl draws near (the Netherfield Ball), we wonder: How far are these Husband-Hunters prepared to go? We'll find out next time, but first, the post-game report from Mertyon:

MRS. BENNET: Charlotte looked pretty good out there, wouldn't you say?

MISS LUCAS: Absolutely. She was in top form and it didn't surprise me in the least that she was the first to be asked to dance by Mr. Bingley.

MRS. BENNET: Sure, but what happened in the second quarter? 

MISS LUCAS: Yeah...

MRS. BENNET: She just seemed to lose it. Fumbling all over the place, losing the ball to Jane...

MISS LUCAS: Yeah, and let's talk about Jane for a minute. Who IS this Jane Bennet? I mean, nobody had heard of her before today, and then suddenly, WHAM--

MRS. BENNET: It's raw talent, is what it is right there. She's definitely captured the eye of Mr. Bingley, but whether she can sustain it is another question.

MISS LUCAS: Absolutely. Let's turn our attention for a second to Elizabeth, how did she do today?

MRS. BENNET: She came out of the gate with a ferocity I haven't seen since the Assembly last year--

MISS LUCAS: Yeah, what WAS in that punch??

MRS. BENNET: --but that comment from Mr. Darcy...

MISS LUCAS: Oooh, yeah, that's gonna hurt..

MRS. BENNET: The Derbyshire kids these days...they grow 'em like nothing I've ever seen...

MISS LUCAS: Helluva looker...

MRS. BENNET: ...but horrible attitudes. It's just gonna hurt you on the field.

MISS LUCAS: Well he's lost Lizzie's heart, that's for certain.

MRS. BENNET: And mine.

MISS LUCAS: Well, that's our show folks! Tune in next time for the final showdown, the Singles Superbowl, and find out who will win Mr. Bingley's heart.

To be continued next week! Comment below if there's a style or format that you'd like to see the next chapter paraphrased in.

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